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The importance of family rules to the development of children's self-esteem

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As a mother, we have two very important goals to get in touch with our children. One of the goals is to provide a family environment full of love and peace. Another way is to make our children happy and productive adults. If you think about it, most mothers will agree that they want these things for their children.

When you think of all the factors that can stop us from achieving these two goals, it looks incredible. We live in a fast-paced world and finding time for everything can be a challenge. The more family members we have, the more complex the family motivation. I think the most difficult factor we face is external pressure and the external influence of the world. It is not easy to train children in this era.

The good news is that if you are equipped with the right tools and information, you can develop good children. The fundamental focus of cultivating happy and responsible children is to cultivate their self-esteem. In order to cultivate their self-esteem, children need three things: attention, autonomy, and restrictions. Children need to know that they are worthy of love and they need care. They need to develop gradually so that they are independent of their parents. Children need borders so that they can learn the right behavior and develop healthy self-esteem.

In order to keep the children's attention, you often play with them, give them lots of hugs and kisses, and take care of their most basic needs. The structure of children’s lives has given them autonomy and restrictions. A very important part of your child's structure is family rules. Family rules teach your children the correct behavior and the necessary skills and character they need to develop healthy self-esteem and independence. Rules can not only give your child a sense of security but also provide order and peace for your family.

Dr. Kenneth Kaye provides six steps to set family rules in his "Family Rules":

1. List the behavioral or important issues that you have encountered in your family.

2. For these questions or concerns, as parents, create and write the rules for performing the behavior you want to see. There are only a few rules from the beginning.

3. For each rule, think about and write logic or natural consensus that violates the rule.

4. Formally present your rules to your child.

5. If they test the rules, follow the consequences.

6. Modify the rules if necessary and modify or increase the consequences as needed.

One of my most interesting findings in Dr. Kaye's book is the difference between rules and preferences. Let me give you a few examples and then I will explain the difference. Examples of rules may be "You may not be playing, kicking or calling your brother or sister's name" or "You must be home at the time we set for you." Examples of likes are "We like you to use your courtesy" and "We like you to spend money wisely."

The following are the main differences between rules and preferences. Moms and dads must agree on rules, but they do not have to agree on preferences. Mom may only allow one friend at a time, but Dad may enjoy a house full of children. However, when it comes to borrowing siblings' items, if the child is asked to ask first, then mom and dad must be prepared to implement this rule.

Rules require consistency and must be clear and clear. The preferences may be ambiguous and do not require consistency. If the rule is broken, it will produce a result every time. With preference, you prefer your child to do something in a certain way, but it depends on your child's decision. If your child doesn't do things the way you like, it doesn't make any sense. When I had a playmate at the age of four, I preferred to say hello and bid farewell to them. I encouraged him to use his behavior. I explained why I think this is important, but if he does not do this, it makes no sense. On the other hand, if he hits or pushes his playmate, he will automatically time out. In general, rules provide structure, peace, safety, and convenience, while preferences teach children moral education, social skills, and positive feelings for themselves and others.

Now that you understand how to best set up family rules, I suggest that you publish your family rules so that everyone can see them. Remember that the execution rules need to publish results every time the rules are broken. The best result is to limit privilege. The more natural and logical the understanding, the better. If a child's behavior is responsible, he will be rewarded with privilege. If he violates the rules, he will lose his privilege. I found that one thing that can help bring emotions out of the problem is a better behavior round. This is a good tool for teaching children about the consequences of their actions.

Think about your children because they set off on their own. What kind of adult do you want them to become? As parents, how can you instill the healthy self-esteem they need to succeed? By using the principles you learned in this article, you have a good start. Give your child everything you want. Leading by example and teaching them with family rules will revive the lifelong personality hit rate, the boundaries of health and the life skills needed to thrive in this world.

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